trying to be good about posting

i'm so unfaithful to the world of the blog. i know some people are able to hop online at any moment and write a few pages of text for their blog. i'm not sure my entire effort would fill a regular sheet of paper.
anyhow...
things have not been so shiny. been rough between me and mr blind for a while, like, not sure we were gonna make it rough. it's a slow recovery, i'm having a hard time with this one. we've been through this so many times, it's hard to believe that this time it'll stick, it never has in the past, why is this one so special.
not saying that everything is going badly. hopefully in the next few days we'll find out if he's been selected to make master sergeant. there's a long line of "ifs" that could result in me and the ryan living in denver for a year. the ifs are...if he gets selected, if he gets promoted quick (jan/feb), if the monitor moves him to san diego right away, if the unit he goes to gets sent to the sand box for a year...then, we'd pack up and move to denver. the housing prices there just floor me, i've been playing the "hmmm...that might work" game a bit. i've also looked at jobs in that area, some pay so much better than what i make here. it almost seems like a better idea for those "ifs" to fall into place.
dad still hasn't come out, one thing after another has kept him from coming yet. not sure when he's gonna make it. i hope he does. i know if/when dad makes it out, ryan will get to spend time with him on his own turf and see how much dad loves him. dad still talks about how he felt like ryan didn't take to him in denver in february. there was so much going on, their rambunctious dog, being in a strange place, i don't blame ryan for not attaching to dad. having dad here would probably make a huge difference for that relationship.
i'm worn out and i have to go out into a cold night to grab some stuff we need for the morning.